Imagine being one of the greatest rugby players of all time, yet your own son asks for someone else to teach him how to kick. That’s the reality for Dan Carter, whose legendary career still towers over the sport, even as he navigates the humbling world of fatherhood. For any aspiring fly-half, Carter’s name is synonymous with excellence—a three-time World Rugby Player of the Year, a Hall of Fame inductee, and the all-time leading points scorer in Test rugby with a staggering 1,598 points. Yet, as the 10th anniversary of his final All Blacks cap approaches, Carter’s greatest challenge isn’t on the field—it’s in his living room, where his four sons see him as just plain old dad.
But here’s where it gets controversial: despite his unparalleled achievements, Carter’s oldest son, Rocco, once asked if he could get kicking lessons from Richie Mo’unga or Beauden Barrett instead of his own father. Carter laughs about it now, recalling, ‘My wife just burst out laughing. That’s the beauty of being a parent.’ After a pause, Rocco did acknowledge, ‘Actually, you know something about kicking, don’t you?’ But the initial request? Priceless. It’s a reminder that even legends are just dads at home, and sometimes, kids need a little distance to appreciate the wisdom right in front of them.
And this is the part most people miss: Carter’s post-playing life isn’t just about nostalgia. In a candid interview with Rugby Journal, he opens up about the struggle to find purpose after hanging up his boots. ‘I’m just looking after my four children,’ he says, embracing the role of weekend Uber driver for his kids’ sports. Gone are the days of grueling matches and Sunday fatigue; now, he cherishes family time and even dabbles in junior rugby coaching. ‘I refereed a few under-8s games,’ he admits, ‘and let me tell you, some of the sideline parenting was horrible. But with a whistle in hand, they tended to shut up.’
Carter’s career ended on a high, adding a Top League title in Japan to his already glittering resume. Yet, it was a conversation with his son that sealed his retirement. When asked if he was returning to Japan, Carter said no, to which his son replied, ‘That’s the best news I’ve ever heard.’ It was a wake-up call. ‘I realized I was playing for the wrong reasons,’ Carter admits. ‘The kids just want me to be home more.’
Is it ever truly possible to balance a legendary career with the demands of family? Carter’s story suggests that sometimes, stepping away is the ultimate victory. What do you think? Would you prioritize family over a career at the top, or is there a way to have it all? Share your thoughts in the comments—this is one debate that’s sure to spark differing opinions.
